Every public speaker has highs and lows. Great presentations you’ll remember for years to come and bad ones that you’ll never forget. Moments of brilliance and success, and times when you want to crawl under a rock. Yet, they are all valuable experiences. Each and every one of them.

I had one such “learning experience” this week. I was given the opportunity to share networking tips and facilitate a group exercise with 800 women during the afternoon  networking reception at the BWF – the Business Women’s Forum in Hartford, CT on September 29, 2009. I had given a workshop called “Motivated Networking Follow-Up” to a group of 100+ professional and business women in the morning. It was an absolute home run by all measures. I was feeling pretty good. (read more about the highlights from this event)

Then it happened.

The audience at the afternoon reception did not respond to me or my message. The wine and appetizers were captivating the women’s total attention. Their need to unwind and just relax proved to be more compelling than my introduction and presentation content. They had had their fill of listening and learning new things for the day. They just wanted to spend some quality time with people that they knew. Few were interested in participating in the “Facilitated Introductions” networking exercise that I had designed.

What was my biggest mistake? I wasn’t flexible enough to respond to the situation. I stayed the course and proceeded as planned hoping to engage enough people to make it work. I even moved onto the floor, me and my wireless microphone, to see if I could engage more people. This was the longest 3 minutes of my speaking career. As my good friend told me the next day “We felt so badly for you. You were dying up there.”

I knew I had lost them. I could see it; sense it; feel it; hear it. I lost them at my instruction “put your wine glasses down.” Big mistake. Never separate people from their liquor or dogs from their bones.

The “could-a / would-a/ should-a” afterthoughts. So here I am, unable to sleep – a full 36 hours after the event- tossing and turning and playing out various scenarios. I just made sense for me to get up and to write them down and share my thoughts. Some of these alternatives just might have worked.  Here are some of my creative ideas for how I might have responded to this challenging situation:

1. Could I have followed in the footsteps of the morning keynote speaker Victoria Labalme and done my own version of the Park Avenue Shuffle? A fellow Stanford University graduate with more guts than tennis racket re-stringing company? I think  I would have danced to Mark Shepard’s song “Adventure Girl” – a tribute to comedian and fastest talking woman & adventurist, Fran Capo.
2. Would I have thought in the moment to invite all of the workshop leaders up on stage with me, including L. Kay Wilson, Karen Hinds, Debbie Fay, Jill Butler, Lena West, Veronica Holcolm, Barbara Phillips, Faith Roberts and the others? I would have inspired them with the old adage “Dance like no one’ s watching” or as author/professor/feminist Gina Barreca humorously rephrases “Dance like you’ve never been hurt before.”
3. Should I have been more creative in my presentation and taken a bigger risk? For example, I could have come dressed in my black belt Tae Kwon Do uniform and demonstrate a few choreographed “forms” and/or self defense moves and shared with the 800 women that networking is a good defense against an economic downturn or potential lay off situation. Having your network in place before you need it is just a  good, sound career management practice. So why are most women hanging out with the friends and colleagues that they see everyday? You should be “talking to strangers” and expanding your professional network.

Most of these “rewriting history” ideas are all about movement and the element of surprise. They are about be daring and bold and unexpected. Perhaps I was constrained by my prepared PowerPoint presentations (yes folks, I cheated on my PowerPoint-FREE diet!) Or perhaps this was just one of those tests that life puts you through to see how you’ll respond and how you’ll handle yourself.

I am proud that I have spent more time laughing at myself rather than beating myself up over the event.  I wouldn’t have traded the opportunity even if I knew the outcome. All PR is good PR, they say, and I believe them. And, I believe that feedback is a gift, even if it is negative criticism.

I am curious to hear from those of you who attended the 2009 Business Women’s Forum. What was your take on the afternoon reception? What would you have done in my shoes. (perhaps I should have worn the magical green shoes!)

Ahh….I feel like I can now get some sleep. This burden is off my chest and I feel empowered by being able to write about my thoughts, feelings and ideas. I guess this is the POWER of blogging. Best yet – it’s cheaper than therapy!

Thanks for reading…and for adding your comments below.

– Kathy McAfee – America’s Marketing Motivator

Photo credits: Cynthia R. Lang Photography (860) 953-2299

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